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    August 04

    替人出头的猪

    猪的一位朋友在MSN上贴了条公告,内容类似黑社会对街坊邻居发出保护费收取办法的通知,摘录如下:

    本人长期替小学生欺负其他同学。收费标准:(身高1.3_1.4米)15元,(1.4_1.6米)18元,(1.6_1.9米)价格面议。打老师:女老师25元、男老师30元、校长40元、体育老师价格面议。顾客至上,诚信为本。

    猪觉得这个帖子很及时啊,大大缓解了很多小学生的心理压迫和师生关系紧张问题。猪想等他业务忙不过来扩招人员时,也加入进去。公私两便,赚钱之余把以前在学校受老师的气一并还了。

    想当初,猪也很享受在伙伴中的领袖地位,手下聚集了全年级成绩靠后一点,靠后一点,最后10名的金刚们。他们的特点是勇敢(每天不打架不知道怎么活的那种)、淳朴(上课说不听就不听,考试想补考就补考的那种)、善良(有时候和其他学校孩子打架至对方受伤的,主动把人送医院的那种)、智慧(熟悉20种以上闯祸的技能和超强反逼供心理素质的那种)。

    猪知道这群人很难管,但猪有文化,是这堆人里唯一看过《三国演义》和《说岳全传》的,经常组织他们按书上的情节和军事要求,在下课或放学后苦练两军对阵、苦练阵法(一字长蛇阵、奇门八卦阵什么),关于杨再兴战死小商桥这个章节,我们乐此不疲练习了几十遍,每次饰演杨再兴的小胖,嘴里啊啊叫着作痛苦状倒在水里时,我们一群“金兵”就觉得兴趣索然,要求他再死一次。直到小胖讨饶为止。我们几个在秘密基地苦练杀敌本领时,是整个学校最为太平的时候,后来校史上称这段时期为“贞观之治”。

    直到有一天,我们觉得应该出去练兵了,学校重新陷入黑暗时期,校史上又称之为“五胡乱华”。

    之前的所有时刻,猪都很享受这种被人呼拥的感觉,直到那个黑色的星期三的出现。。。。。。。

    Comments (2)

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    kikisunny luwrote:
    你就个阿背!!!
    Aug. 7
    莉 何wrote:
    在一次体现臭P的本质~还有~前后矛盾~猪是没有文化的~
    还有~最后是不是应该写上 未完待续。。。
    Aug. 4

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